In and Out

*This is a bit of a tribute to two friends who were my inspiration to pick blogging back up. (Even if just for today!)*

Like most areas of my life, this blogging thing is quite cyclical... I suppose if I had more of a following, I might be more consistent, but as it is, I don't mind letting it slip through the cracks most of the time. I do the same amongst weeks of reading, meal-planning, crafty projects, even laundry and dishes! (I'll be honest: it's rare that dishes DON'T get neglected.) You just can't be on top of everything every week. Or, (as Darci says: http://missdarci.blog.com/2014/06/07/super-mom/ ), you can't be SuperMom! But it's also like my grandma's plaque says: "This house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy!"

Maybe being SuperMom just means being the best version of ourselves. Some ways I've heard it said are: "To be holy is to be uniquely you." or "To be perfect is to change often." To tie this into the other post that revitalized my desire to blog (Erin's: honeymrsmommycoachmarshall.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/who-am-i/ ), being your version of SuperMom requires lots of self-knowledge and some self-pampering! From my new literature of mommy blogs, I recognize that loneliness and loss of identity is common for us! I mean, I *know* I used to like to read and dance and sit around at Starbucks, talking to friends. But I can't tell you the last time I've done one of those things, at least the ways I used to. As Erin concludes, it's just another season! And in each season, different roles take priority.

It's a drastic change to go from the season of independence and "self-discovery" (college) straight into a season of nearly 100% self-sacrifice (with varying degrees of honeymoon in between). A few Mays ago you might have found me napping (okay, not that different than today). But at that time I had plenty of time to visit with friends, read whole books at a time for leisure, take a shower on my own time (the height of luxury!), and no way would you find me meal-planning! Now any spare time I have, and most leisure activities, are geared directly or indirectly towards the sanctification of myself and my family. (Okay, other than taking hot baths and baking desserts. Although I could probably philosophize my way around those, too!) For example, the books I'm reading now are The Power of a Praying Wife and Brideshead Revisited. The first is pretty self-explanatory, but the second, a novel, I'm reading with a threefold purpose: first, because it led to the conversion of a fellow mommy blogger; second, because it's a classic and I'm looking ahead to homeschooling; and finally, third, I hope I might enjoy it! 

As trying as this season can be, I know the leisure time of empty nesters' season will come with its own sense of loneliness. So, for now, let's focus our skills and talents on the sanctification of ourselves and our families. But don't forget to do a little rekindling of interests and leisure activities for your own enjoyment, because, as I've also read, "You cannot give what you do not have!"

Fulfillment

Being a mom is the best. Don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, but this is a totally new level of vocation. Any of you who know me (and I doubt anyone who doesn't know me is reading this... Yet! Maybe someday I'll become a super popular blogger- ha!) know that I have always wanted to be a mom. Gosh, even I don't remember when that started, but I do know in high school, I used to tell people I wanted "five to eighteen kids, but preferably eight to twelve." Well, folks, one down, four to seventeen to go! Apparently after labor, or with sleep deprivation, a lot of women second guess expanding their families, but honestly, I can't wait to do it again!

I remember in high school, going through the "religious life?" crises that all devout Catholic girls do, and coming up with *reasons* I was called to marriage. We all know God doesn't always work like that, but, hey, it's my personality. Like trying to come up with reasons to defend the way we're choosing to parent, instead of just doing it. But anyway. I came up with things like having a good relationship with my dad and brother (which obviously means I couldn't be a religious... not), and how I'd always loved children (I'd wager that most sisters and nuns love children!), and other silly things like that. Now that I know better... I'm still doing it! Oh, humanity. But this time, it's recognizing ways that God created me to be a mother.

Maybe it's just so that I would have motivation to continue (hoping the next would be as good as this one), but, guys, I wouldn't change a thing about my pregnancy and delivery. Sure, I was exhausted the first trimester (couldn't have had anything to do with the first year of teaching, though), and had some heartburn towards the end, but overall, it was picture perfect. And sure, we had to be induced, and not the ways I would have planned, and natural childbirth is messy and challenging (more on that later), but I truly felt informed and in control of the process, and amazed and how well our bodies work if we just get out of the way. These experiences (along with comments from the doctors and nurses involved) have led me to believe that not only has my heart been primed for motherhood, my body was created for it, too. And yes, every woman's body was created for motherhood, but some of us, God alone knows why, have bodies that embrace it! I had no morning sickness, very slight touches of the other "pregnancy symptoms," nothing at all unbearable. And that may absolutely be because God knows what a weakling I am. Or it may be because once this kid hits toddlerhood or his teens, he'll make up for it. But even now, five and a half weeks into it, I can't imagine anything going any more perfectly or easily. (Labor aside= Not easy!) 

In other words, consolation. Reaffirmation of my vocation. 

I've been thinking about Josh's baptism, when he received his vocation. A quote from one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally: "...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I really feel that applies to our vocations, too. When we find out the way God has planned for us to achieve sainthood, we should be excited about it, and ready to start as soon as possible. And even if we're not, sooner or later, we get to the point where I am now and can say, "Sure, my life was great before, but now, WOW! It's going to be awesome!"