Dear Hunter Hayes, You suck.

I'm sorry, Hunter; really it's not your fault. You're just internalizing and regurgitating the fluffiness our society has fed you. If you haven't heard his song "I Want Crazy," it's pretty catchy, but full of bad theology.

The song is about infatuation. I'm not against infatuation! It's a fun season, and, let's be honest, makes high school a little more bearable. What I have a problem with is that for so many infatuation is where it ends. Please, name for me a chick flick that doesn't end before the honeymoon's over. It ends with "Oh, my gosh, you're so wonderful, we're meant to be together, mush mush mush." Now, I love emotion and sappiness as much as the next girl (and probably cry about it more than the next girl), but it's NOTHING next to the love God expects of us.

I have a few single friends I've talked to lately about this. Sure, I "had my heart broken," but I've always felt I had (sometimes WAY deep down) a pretty good outlook on relationships. And I can tell you why.
As far back as I can remember, my dad would tell me to "save my heart for my husband." Introducing emotional chastity before it becomes an issue was incredibly healthy for me. He also told me (several times; he repeats himself, like most dads) about a girl he had dated before my mom with whom he still believed he could have had a happy marriage. How unromantic! For the longest time, I thought that was offensive to my mom. I understand now, but as little as I understood then, it helped develop my subconscious unbelief in "soul mates." I still don't believe you can marry the wrong person. You can definitely discern badly and marry someone who will make your life more difficult than necessary.

Here comes a lot of honesty. My relationship with Bryant began with me being pursued. It didn't start with me thinking, "Oh, he's so dreamy and cute blah blah blah" and wondering if he was ever going to call me. As a matter of fact, by society's standards, our "love story" was pretty boring. We were friends, he asked me (and my dad) if we could date. We got engaged, got married, had a baby... History! Like I said, my outlook on relationships, being as realistic as a blue girl can be, prepared me for a "boring" relationship.

It's never felt boring, BUT it's very rarely felt like a pop song or a chick flick. I've heard of those being called "porn for girls," and I 100% agree with that! The picture of a relationship being dramatic and based on emotions and "romance" is NOT what girls today need, especially with people starting to date younger and younger.

Relationships should not be "crazy," as Hunter describes as desirable. Relationships should be based on a shared relationship with God and the potential spouses' families, and a mutual commitment to similar priorities and goals. And, of course, most of all, a desire for the other's holiness and eternal happiness (heaven). Early in life, girls should be influenced by the way their mother respects their father, and gives him respect even if he doesn't always deserve it. Young boys should be impressed by the love with which their fathers treat their mothers, giving an example of true masculinity the way God intended it: protecting and providing for their wives, physically AND emotionally. And, of course, vice versa. Marriage is the prime example of God's love for His people and Jesus' relationship with the Church; how much high-school relationship material do you see in those?

I guess what I'm saying is boring is exciting and holy. Crazy is temporary and unsatisfying. You get me?

The Last Five Years

Hi. My name is Sarah Winslow. In the past year, I have graduated from college, gotten married, taught my first year of second grade, and had a baby!
I was really glad to graduate; college was never really in my plans. In high school I realized "Oh! I guess I had better decide what to do after this," because I had always mentally skipped from high school to marriage. I was bitterly disappointed when my parents and I decided that Benedictine was not financially an option, but in retrospect, I'm very thankful for the people I met at Emporia!
I really enjoyed wedding planning! Well, most of the time. Our day went so smoothly and beautifully; God clearly was all over it. My mom was irreplaceable, too. She was on top of the planning, and on top of me being on top of the planning. Bryant and I are so blessed with the community who supported us throughout our engagement, wedding, and now!
Teaching was... tough. I will admit I could have gone in with a different attitude. If I knew I was going to teach for more than one or two years, I'm sure I would have felt better about it, but I knew Josh was on his way, and my strongest desire was to be home with him. So while I met some really awesome people with whom Bryant and I really hope to stay in contact, I won't say it was my favorite year.
And the baby. Oh, the baby. MAN, I love him. He is the best. :) You know, when they say "Having a baby changes everything," they are not kidding. Literally everything in  my life has changed over the past year, but especially in the past three months. What I wear, what I eat, what I read, what I do in my "spare time" (ha!), even what I think about! And it's also true that I can't even remember what my life was like before we had him. What did we do all the time?
I'll tell you, I have had an incredibly easy life. God knows I'm weak, and has planned accordingly. But as simple as my life has been so far, I am looking forward to this next season even more! I have the most wonderful, supportive husband, an adorable, amazingly sweet baby, and my primary job is to care for them! Yay!

Fulfillment

Being a mom is the best. Don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, but this is a totally new level of vocation. Any of you who know me (and I doubt anyone who doesn't know me is reading this... Yet! Maybe someday I'll become a super popular blogger- ha!) know that I have always wanted to be a mom. Gosh, even I don't remember when that started, but I do know in high school, I used to tell people I wanted "five to eighteen kids, but preferably eight to twelve." Well, folks, one down, four to seventeen to go! Apparently after labor, or with sleep deprivation, a lot of women second guess expanding their families, but honestly, I can't wait to do it again!

I remember in high school, going through the "religious life?" crises that all devout Catholic girls do, and coming up with *reasons* I was called to marriage. We all know God doesn't always work like that, but, hey, it's my personality. Like trying to come up with reasons to defend the way we're choosing to parent, instead of just doing it. But anyway. I came up with things like having a good relationship with my dad and brother (which obviously means I couldn't be a religious... not), and how I'd always loved children (I'd wager that most sisters and nuns love children!), and other silly things like that. Now that I know better... I'm still doing it! Oh, humanity. But this time, it's recognizing ways that God created me to be a mother.

Maybe it's just so that I would have motivation to continue (hoping the next would be as good as this one), but, guys, I wouldn't change a thing about my pregnancy and delivery. Sure, I was exhausted the first trimester (couldn't have had anything to do with the first year of teaching, though), and had some heartburn towards the end, but overall, it was picture perfect. And sure, we had to be induced, and not the ways I would have planned, and natural childbirth is messy and challenging (more on that later), but I truly felt informed and in control of the process, and amazed and how well our bodies work if we just get out of the way. These experiences (along with comments from the doctors and nurses involved) have led me to believe that not only has my heart been primed for motherhood, my body was created for it, too. And yes, every woman's body was created for motherhood, but some of us, God alone knows why, have bodies that embrace it! I had no morning sickness, very slight touches of the other "pregnancy symptoms," nothing at all unbearable. And that may absolutely be because God knows what a weakling I am. Or it may be because once this kid hits toddlerhood or his teens, he'll make up for it. But even now, five and a half weeks into it, I can't imagine anything going any more perfectly or easily. (Labor aside= Not easy!) 

In other words, consolation. Reaffirmation of my vocation. 

I've been thinking about Josh's baptism, when he received his vocation. A quote from one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally: "...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I really feel that applies to our vocations, too. When we find out the way God has planned for us to achieve sainthood, we should be excited about it, and ready to start as soon as possible. And even if we're not, sooner or later, we get to the point where I am now and can say, "Sure, my life was great before, but now, WOW! It's going to be awesome!"