Dixciteouragement

Nope. Not a word. But how I'm feeling! (A combination of excitement and discouragement.) BeCAUSE (excitement) we are looking at buying a house! But (discouragement) that means we will have to tighten our budget even more than we already have. 

I'm just going to start this out by saying financial prudence is one of my most challenging weaknesses, mainly for two reasons. First, I feel greatly convicted by knowledge. Ex. "Regular visits to the chiropractor help boost the immune system? Josh HAS to have that!" "Grass-fed butter has more vitamins and nutrients? Well, why would we use any other kind?" The other reason is that sometimes I just don't have a strong grasp of the concrete realities of our budget. Ex. Buying things in bulk because it's a better deal without seeing how much is left in checking...

So now that we're looking at a house (more on that later), the ethereal budget to which I've given an occasional, fleeting  thought is going to need to become a familiar friend with whom I live every day. The biggest area of improvement (other than spontaneous purchases/eating out) needs to be the grocery bill. 

Just the thought of that is overwhelming. Many of you know that over the past two years, I've "gotten really into" the real/organic/whole food idea, and I'm not willing to drop that just because we need to spend less money. It's what's best for our family, even if it is more expensive. But I know if I have some accountability and encouragement, I can stick to a budget AND continue to feed my family well!

I've already had some discouragement this morning in a place I was searching for inspiration! There's a "100 Days of Real Food" blog, and she did an "On a Budget" series. Unfortunately, her weekly budget of $125 is painfully close to what our monthly budget is likely to be!

So, tell me. How much do you spend on groceries, for how many people? And what percent would you say is real food? (Unprocessed, natural, homemade, etc.)

Momiform Progress!

So some cool people are doing a "7 Posts in 7 Days" challenge (initiated by Jen! http://www.conversiondiary.com/2014/02/7-posts-7-days.html) ... and although I doubt I'll keep up, and I doubt even more you want to hear that much from me, I might as well start anyway!

This might be a cheat, because this post will be mostly pictures. Oh, well!

A few weeks ago I was inspired to revamp my wardrobe with clothes appropriate to my new state in life. Here are a few snapshots of success days! (No judging, you fashionistas. Success, for now, means something other than sweats and a t-shirt!)

I know. My expressions are camera-worthy. You don't have to tell me. 

Also, those spots on my bathroom mirror... Figments of your imagination. 

Have you ever had the urge to simplify and update your wardrobe? I'm loving it! (Ba-da-bap-bap-ba!)

Seven Quick Takes #1 Or "Boxes, Cloth, and Demons"

Well, friends, it's Friday! My first Quick Takes (hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary-another of my favorites!)

http://www.conversiondiary.com

Thanks, Jen! 

-1-

Today also happens to be a Familia day! Familia is a program for "Mothers of Young Children." Each year, we read a church document on motherhood, marriage, or femininity; this year's is JPII's Familiaris Consortio. We meet every two weeks to discuss, and while, like every group, we started off slow, I'm really happy with the way we're coming together this semester! It's so nice to have a supportive group of women for whom faith is a strong priority.

-2-

Shopping addiction

You know the feeling when the doorbell rings and you open the door to see that fabulous brown package? It's kind of my favorite. I might have a spending problem. As much as I try to only buy what is absolutely necessary for my family's well-being, there are just so many fun and shiny things that I just KNOW will make our lives healthier/easier/better. I'm a sucker, even without real advertising. Maybe it's my great imagination. I create my own mental advertising! Catered specifically to my weaknesses, of course. 

-3-

Cloth transition

This week has just happened to be a big one in our "natural/sustainability" journey! My mom helped cut up t-shirt scraps for Josh's wipes, and we had enough left over to start family cloth! (If you don't know... don't ask.) We have some "unpaper" towels and reusable plastic baggies on their way to us, AND the fabric for our cloth napkins is washed and ready to go!

-4-

Out of groceries

A plus of the "freezer cooking" fad comes with weather like this! I planned to go to the grocery store this week, buuuut it's been pretty yucky out there. So we've started cleaning out the freezer. Usually I use the slow cooker meals for days when my babysitting boys are here, but they were nice to have for snow days, too! Cilantro Lime Chicken- two thumbs up!

-5-

Surprise vacation

Speaking of my babysitting boys, apparently I have two weeks off! Their family goes to Florida every winter, and we hadn't really communicated about it well until last week. I've got all kinds of project ideas! (Probably too many; I'll need to pray for realistic expectations!) I'm open to suggestions, but here are a few:

•replacing the elastic in some of Josh's diapers

•working on my t-shirt quilt (VERY in progress... but I took a few months off for Christmas projects

•make our cloth napkins

•refill our freezer! (including lunches for Bryant)

•organize our basement- it's a scary place...

•maybe work ahead on Bradley and PSR plans! But, really, how likely is that?

-6-

"Style and the SAHM"

http://thisfelicitouslife.wordpress.com/2013/03/09/style-and-the-stay-at-home-mom-the-quest-begins/

This link leads you to the beginning of a series that became a project for me this week. For those of you who get my Facebook updates, I posted one about dressing like a hobo. Just to prove I wasn't exaggerating, my dad was surprised that I was "already dressed"... at 9:30 this morning when he stopped by to visit. So the good news is a change has happened!

Thanks to the inspiration of the above post, I have a trash bag full of clothing in our hallway to rid myself of. I'll probably share more about my "minimalistic momiform" in it's own post soon, but just know I'm excited to no longer be dressing like a slob!

-7-

"A Screwtape Letter for the Unappreciated Mom"

http://www.organizinglifewithlittles.com/2014/01/26/for-the-unappreciated-mom/

I ADORE this post. Many wonderful people write about things moms need to watch out for: not spending time with your husband, not taking time for prayer and to rest... but none of them have hit home for me the way this one does. Every word was written just for me. 

And it's a good note and reminder on which to begin the weekend!

My First *Five Favorites*!

So I missed the Wednesday part of the link-up... But anywho, here's the link to one of my favorite Catholic Mommy Bloggers- MoxieWife.

http://moxiewife.com/2014/02/five-favorites-vol-46/.html

(Thanks for hosting, and for all your insightful and touching posts on marriage! Hopefully I'll be more on time next week!)

-1-

Fuzzy Socks

Our heater never got above 65 yesterday (fixed now, thanks), and I was so thankful for my fuzzy pink socks! (I have four pairs- all pink, if you were wondering.)

-2-

Snow days with my hubby!

'Nuff said

-3-

T-shirt headbands

Thanks to #2, I had a little time to work on frivolous, crafty projects. If you can't tell, I can barely fit them all on my head. 

They stay put better than my comfortable ones, and they look cuter than the ones that stay!

The cool, knotted one:

http://happyhourprojects.com/no-sew-braided-headband-tutorial-from-blog-of-the-week-we-like-to-learn-as-we-go/

The thicker, braided one:

http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2011/06/repurposing-tshirts-into-5-strand-braided-headbands.html

-4-

Apple-Oat Cookies

Guys, I'm not exaggerating when I say I only had two-thirds of the ingredients for this recipe. Not enough brown sugar, no baking soda, no applesauce, no whole wheat flour... But I improvised! And they're delicious. She calls them "Breakfast Cookies." Ha! More like "Hourly Cookies." Even Bryant likes them! And, let me tell you, he's a traditional cookie kind of guy. Imagine if I actually followed the recipe!

http://www.preventionrd.com/2013/03/meatless-monday-giant-whole-wheat-apple-oat-breakfast-cookies/

-5-

Phil Vassar

Now, I wouldn't say Phil is my "favorite" artist, and this might even be kind of an un-favorite because of the circumstances, but Bryant and I were planning our Valentine's date to his concert tonight! Wait, it gets cuter. Guess what concert we went to on our honeymoon? Phil Vassar! (You're such good guessers.) Too bad it's postponed until May because of the weather...

And there you have it! My first (not-so) link-up! Whoo hoo!

Re-Introduction

Hey, all!

So, as consistent as I am in real life (not very!), I'm obviously that much better at blogging on a regular basis. I figured, though, there's no time like the present to start trying again! Because I used to actually be a pretty good writer, believe it or not. And I think my life is worth writing about, even if nobody reads it. 

So, for my own reference, here are a few subjects I might blather on about in the future:

Jane Austen

Easy babies

Sustainability

DIY projects and products (Don't expect any high level of craftsmanship, here.)

Edible food!/journey toward whatever "healthy" means these days

Developments in the world of birth and parenting

The spiritual life of one SAHM

Building a "minimalist momiform" (a la Laura at This Felicitous Life)

Whatever suits my fancy!

I'd like to join some link-ups as we go along as well:

What I Wore Sunday with Fine Linen and Purple

Five Favorites with Moxie Wife

Seven Quick Takes with Conversion Diary

And maybe more!

So here's to the reopening of a blog that (almost) nobody read in the first place. Cheers!

Judgment: Part I

I have weaknesses. (Not that this is news to anyone.) Ask Bryant or my dad! I am an inconsistent mess when it comes to money management, I procrastinate and never truly do my best on projects (lesson plans, etc.), and I judge. Judging in and of itself is not a flaw! (More on that later.) I absolutely believe human beings are created to judge (right from wrong, safe from dangerous, healthy from unhealthy, etc.), but when it becomes less than charitable or moves from the "sin" to the "sinner," it requires improvement.

Bear with me on a spiritual journey.

I read this "mom blog" post yesterday about why their family chooses to homeschool. She addressed the common myth of socialization, but rather than simply saying "We do all these things/My kids have friends and are not shy" and leaving it at that, she explained why they DON'T want their kids "'socialized' in public school." Her main theme was that different becomes bad ("weird"), and after those experiences, many kids (and adults) live their lives feeling like they have to prove something to the bullies. That resonated very deeply for me. Like many, I had an awful middle school experience. I went to a school where sports were cool and 11-year-olds had "boyfriends." Needless to say, I wasn't involved in any of that. I did dance classes, choir, and Scholar's Bowl and loved going to church camp. And that was how you spelled L-O-S-E-R. My parents did a great job convincing me I was beautiful, smart, and musically talented, but the school atmosphere taught me that it was better to be cute/hot, "cool," and athletic.*

I had a great high school experience. My parents allowed me to choose to go to Bishop Carroll (where I knew a handful of people), and after the first rough weeks of transition, I never looked back. I found people who were interested in some of the things I was interested in (Liturgy Club, choir, etc.) who seemed to like me. It's been a healing process, for sure. I spent years and years secretly wondering if the people who hung out with me really liked me, or if they just put up with me because they had to.

Even now, it's hard for me to think of people I went to middle school with (and more than a few high school classmates) positively. Typically, it's an "Oh, I hope she's changed" or "Ha, I'm married and graduated and they're not." Yes, I understand those are terrible things to think, and I usually feel bad and consider that their paths to holiness are different than mine and try not to be such a... mean-hearted woman. The point is, we're all wounded.

And this is why I judge. My whole life I've had to fight for people to understand that different is okay. That my interests have value. And now, since I'm far from mainstream in my parenting choices, that my decisions are sound. I still have that voice in my head saying "You're not doing what everyone else is doing; you're not like them, so you're different. And different is wrong. Different is bad." I've always had to fight, sometimes other people and their impressions, and sometimes the voice in my head, for "weird" to be "okay."

In the most recent examples, I've heartily researched our parenting decisions. I've researched until I decided there was no better way for us to do the things we are doing. I want people's approval (which I didn't get in middle school), so I think that means they need to make the same choices as me. I'm afraid if we're not "the same," they won't like me.

I know this is somewhat illogical. But it's why, if I'm sharing or explaining something I know is not "normal," I'm already subconsciously defensive. Because I care about you and I want us to be on the same team.

To be continued...

(Aren't you curious where this was going? Me, too. I started it months ago and can't really remember what the conclusion was supposed to be. Any suggestions?)



*I don't EVER want Josh to feel that way. I want him to know that it's AWESOME that God created him to be such a unique blend of baseball/violin/patience/history or tap dancing/math/public speaking/bike riding or whatever he ends up interested in, and that those things are what will make him holy and happy in life. This will, certainly, play into our school decision-making when the time comes.

Dear Hunter Hayes, You suck.

I'm sorry, Hunter; really it's not your fault. You're just internalizing and regurgitating the fluffiness our society has fed you. If you haven't heard his song "I Want Crazy," it's pretty catchy, but full of bad theology.

The song is about infatuation. I'm not against infatuation! It's a fun season, and, let's be honest, makes high school a little more bearable. What I have a problem with is that for so many infatuation is where it ends. Please, name for me a chick flick that doesn't end before the honeymoon's over. It ends with "Oh, my gosh, you're so wonderful, we're meant to be together, mush mush mush." Now, I love emotion and sappiness as much as the next girl (and probably cry about it more than the next girl), but it's NOTHING next to the love God expects of us.

I have a few single friends I've talked to lately about this. Sure, I "had my heart broken," but I've always felt I had (sometimes WAY deep down) a pretty good outlook on relationships. And I can tell you why.
As far back as I can remember, my dad would tell me to "save my heart for my husband." Introducing emotional chastity before it becomes an issue was incredibly healthy for me. He also told me (several times; he repeats himself, like most dads) about a girl he had dated before my mom with whom he still believed he could have had a happy marriage. How unromantic! For the longest time, I thought that was offensive to my mom. I understand now, but as little as I understood then, it helped develop my subconscious unbelief in "soul mates." I still don't believe you can marry the wrong person. You can definitely discern badly and marry someone who will make your life more difficult than necessary.

Here comes a lot of honesty. My relationship with Bryant began with me being pursued. It didn't start with me thinking, "Oh, he's so dreamy and cute blah blah blah" and wondering if he was ever going to call me. As a matter of fact, by society's standards, our "love story" was pretty boring. We were friends, he asked me (and my dad) if we could date. We got engaged, got married, had a baby... History! Like I said, my outlook on relationships, being as realistic as a blue girl can be, prepared me for a "boring" relationship.

It's never felt boring, BUT it's very rarely felt like a pop song or a chick flick. I've heard of those being called "porn for girls," and I 100% agree with that! The picture of a relationship being dramatic and based on emotions and "romance" is NOT what girls today need, especially with people starting to date younger and younger.

Relationships should not be "crazy," as Hunter describes as desirable. Relationships should be based on a shared relationship with God and the potential spouses' families, and a mutual commitment to similar priorities and goals. And, of course, most of all, a desire for the other's holiness and eternal happiness (heaven). Early in life, girls should be influenced by the way their mother respects their father, and gives him respect even if he doesn't always deserve it. Young boys should be impressed by the love with which their fathers treat their mothers, giving an example of true masculinity the way God intended it: protecting and providing for their wives, physically AND emotionally. And, of course, vice versa. Marriage is the prime example of God's love for His people and Jesus' relationship with the Church; how much high-school relationship material do you see in those?

I guess what I'm saying is boring is exciting and holy. Crazy is temporary and unsatisfying. You get me?